Episode 25: Four Essential Steps to Creating the Career and Life you Dream About

what to do when you feel lost in your career by chantiluke

Episode 25: Four Essential Steps to Creating the Career and Life you Dream About

Hello friends! 

This is the second to last episode of the season. Be sure to catch up on all the previous episodes before I get back in December with new ones!

Today's episode is all about that fantastic, confusing period of knowing you want to make a change in your career and life but you have no clue how to make it happen.

You have a wild, crazy dream but it is wild, it is crazy and how does anyone actually make it a reality?

Well my friend, this episode is for you:

You don't want to miss

  • How to get clarity on what you want

  • Why you need to get honest about what brought you where you are today

  • Why changing your career and life is about probabilities, not possibilities

Listen Here or Read the Blog Post Below


Before I officially started Chantiluke, I was going through it. I knew I wanted to leave my current job I did not know (1) how to actually have the career I wanted and (2) had zero faith that I could actually make it happen. I also didn’t really know that I wanted to start a business. I just knew that I wanted more for my career and ultimately my life.

Now, the hard part about being in a place like this is that there’s no clear direction of how to move forward. And I, like most people, really like clear directions. But I didn’t have one.  All I knew was that I had this wild idea about having my own business, sharing and serving in this creative way, and feeling challenged. But I didn’t quite know what shape I wanted that to take.

Which freaked me out. I lost sleep over it, tried to look at job descriptions and see if they excited me, stalked people on LinkedIn, and went on lots of informational interviews. Ultimately, I came to grips with the fact that this curiosity about coaching and business seized me. Or in fact, I seized it and I really wanted to explore it. I just could not get honest with myself for a very long time about it.

So, if you find yourself in this place, then please know that you are not alone.

(If you’re feeling like you’d kill for an inkling of a passion but you just don’t know what you want, that’s alright too. I was there as well. I’d say head over to “Leaving the Land of ‘I Don’t Know’.”).

But for my people who have a passion they’re really interested in right now, know that it’s time to make a change, but have nary a clue about what to do with it, keep reading.

Before we continue, I need you to be radically honest about your feelings and your life. The only person who gets hurt by you holding back is you.


1.     Reflect on where you are now.

I want you to understand deeply what got you where you are now. Be honest with yourself about why you chose your current job, what attracted you to it initially and why you have not left yet.

I really wanted to be a data analyst. I wanted to use the marketable skills I learned during graduate school and I wanted to do this analytical work. But I stayed because I was worried that Chantiluke would fail and I’d be left as a failure with nothing to show for my hard work.

2.     Reflect on where you want to be.

After you’ve reflected on where you are and what beliefs got you there, I want you to look forward. In your wildest dreams, who do you want to be? I’m not referring to an occupation. But who is the person that you are yearning to be? What are her values? What does her orientation towards her career look like? Does she make decisions based on fear or adventure? Does she realize her intrinsic self-worth or is she pining for something to validate her existence?

Then answer what it is that you dream of doing.

The reason I say start with the values that you yearn to live by is because the actions you take and the career you create is a consequence, not a cause, of your values. If I believe I am endlessly worthy, if I choose curiosity and courage, then I can show up in the world creatively as an entrepreneur and coach. Otherwise, the work shapes me.

3.     Get honest about what you truly believe is probable.

This step is crucial. Crucial! It’s crucial because you can sit and pine over your dreams all day. But if you do not believe it is truly probable for your life, then all you’re doing is pining. And you will continue to pine from the job that you wanted to leave 15 years ago.

The reason I say probable and not possible because the issue isn’t really what we think is possible. You may believe lots of things are possible. The very nature of the word “possible” means you’d need to know with a high degree of certainty that something could not happen to discredit it. No, we’re not really talking about possibilities, we’re really talking about probabilities.

And this is where our beliefs of our lives come in.

We do not create the lives that we believe are possible, we create the lives we are probable.

The overwhelming feelings of uncertainty and confusion you feel about your dreams is not because you don’t think they are possible its because you don’t think they are probable.

So to actually live the life that you dream you’d need to change what you believe is probable. And that only happens by being honest about what you believe.

4.     Identify your ideal values and live by them today.

 We often believe that once we “get our dreams”, we will finally be who we want. Once we get there, we will have all of the things we want, have all the skills and values. But what this line of thinking gets wrong is that the only way we become that person who has those values is by living from that place right now. That ideal version of ourselves does not exist. You have to create her. And you can only create her by living from her values right now.

So if your ideal version of you makes decisions out of a sense of adventure, rather than fear, than challenge yourself to live by the value of adventure today. What is one little way you can live that value today?

So if that means you make one decision differently today, you don’t say yes to a project that doesn’t not interest you, or you take 15 minutes extra in the morning to write a few sentences, or you decide to make a coffee date with your friend who works at that company you’ve been dreaming about, make that small change. Live from that version of yourself today. Right now.

Take the time to be reflective and honest with yourself about this season you’re in, where you want to be, and what believes have created your current situation. Being open and honest now is the first step to living the life you want.

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Danielle Callendar