Episode 22: Why I Stopped Trying to Figure Out What I Want to Do with My Life


Episode 22: Why I Stopped Trying to Figure Out What I Want to Do with My Life

Figuring out what you want to do for a living. It can be such a nerve-wracking, time-consuming ordeal. And I've chosen not to do it anymore.

In this episode, you'll learn:

- Why I chose to stop figuring out what I want to do for a living

- The different perspective I've adopted about my career


After I left my PhD program, I felt lost. I truly did. I felt like I was in this in-between, foggy place of knowing what I did NOT want, but no idea of what I wanted.

And that scared me. Honestly, it was frustrating, demoralizing, but it was also very scary. I was riddled with self-doubt and I felt like if I did not know what I wanted at that very minute, then I would never know

I am here to tell you that if you’re feeling this way right now, there is a tomorrow. There is a moment when you get more clarity. It comes.

But that clarity may not come in the ways you expect or in the ways you think that you need.

I thought that I would get clarity by reading and all of the career books, articles, watching all the videos. The research background took charge, believing that I could research my way into a fulfilling career.

I had a false idea that I could research my way into a meaningful life.

But I did the work nonetheless. I identified my values, I learned more about my personality type, I identified my peak moments. I did all of that, and it really helped me. I was able to dive into my job search in a new way; I was actually excited about the jobs I was applying for because they actually aligned with my values and interests. And I got a job. And then I got another job. And I felt good to be around people that I enjoyed, work that interested me….

And then… I started feeling restless. I started feeling frustrated. It was happening again. I thought I did this thing right this time. I did what all of the books told me. And yet, here I was, wanting to leave the job I was in for a different one. One that I just knew was going to make me happier.

That’s when I had to take a deep hard look at my beliefs. I had to get honest with myself about what I wanted. Not just in terms of what I wanted out of work.

But a much more important question: who did I want to be in my life?

That’s when figuring out what I wanted to do became secondary to figuring out who I was. I thought I answered that before, but even then I don’t think I was. I figured out what I liked and what I wanted. But I did not have an understanding of who I was.

Which is what led me here today. What led me to exploring even deeper questions than I had before; questions about spirit, desires, manifesting, ego, limiting beliefs.

My quest became less about what I wanted to “do” between the hours of 9-5. It was more about who did I want to be as I did the things between 9-5.And this where I am now.

I’m no longer interested in resting my identity, peace, and stability on a mental definition of who I am based on what I do.

Now, I’m exploring who I am as a soul, as a spirit having these incredible human experiences. Now, I’m exploring what that means in practice.

This experience has been incredibly rich, in ways the hyper-focus on my career just wasn’t. Who knows where it will lead me next, but I know it can only get better.


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Danielle Callendar